yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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