i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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