I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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