At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
