Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize