ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize