I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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