dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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