Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
