just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
