just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I haven't been this sober since birth.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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