we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize