what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
