is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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