"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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