i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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