Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
