There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
