it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
