she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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