The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
