Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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