PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
NoShamevember. You game?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
