lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Randomize
