I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
