Joe is yelling at the trees again.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
The air taste purple.
Randomize