You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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