What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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