he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
whose ass print is on the piano?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
