my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
