well most of my day revolves around power hour
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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