Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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