i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
