I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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