butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
