I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
