he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I want a musical about memes.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I'm having to shit out rocks
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