i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Randomize
