apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
