i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
