A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Randomize
