I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize