I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
