Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
My Sexting was not on an AP level
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
