She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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