So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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