I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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