If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
