We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
false alarm, still single
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
