Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
