I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
