I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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