Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
My dad just said "fuck circus"
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
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