i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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