im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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