Don't make out with my wife yet
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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