yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
