So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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