I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Randomize
