I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
