oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
this is an emotional support booty call
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
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