Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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