the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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