'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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