so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
lol hangovers are for mortals.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
