White coat. Heels.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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