But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
