i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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